i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So. Much. Porn.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
