so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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