susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
