So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
