We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
