PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
