He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize