His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
