toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
