sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
