In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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