Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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