I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize