Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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