He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
is that a dick in a sweater?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
