I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
