So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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