if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
