My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
