I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
