We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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