the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We are two peas in an std pod
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
