That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
