yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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