we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
