he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
