yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
