if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
