some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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