.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
please come you make the beer taste better
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
