I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
