I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love having hate sex.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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