Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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