So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
