After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize