After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
