Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
