He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
