Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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