spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
