Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
