Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im six kinds of drunk right now
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he was CRYING into my vagina
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Someone signed my nipple.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize