shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
