Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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