I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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