Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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(757): View more from Virginia

i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

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(940): View more from Texas

I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

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(585): View more from New York

It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

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(240): View more from Maryland

God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.

(304): View more from West Virginia

Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her

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(+61): View more from Australia

I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob

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(847): View more from Illinois

Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard

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