i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Green mimosas i think yes
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
