I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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