You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
