Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
