found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize