you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
