Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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