I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
