you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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