marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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