DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize