Sry I called you an 8
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
