my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
