pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
