Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
