I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
