ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
