I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Still dying that you shit outside
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
